1 pair Wellies
1 butterfly net
2 jugs formalin (for pickling specimens)
1 machete (for giving jungle vines the old “one-two”)
1 magnifying lens (for seeing macro-micos and whatnots)
1 metal compass (which you don’t know how to use)
1 map (which you don’t know how to read)
1 trekking cane
1 tranquilizer rifle, range 30 yards with micro-darts loaded with 20 cubic centimeters each of Mr. Right Away’s Wild Beast Tamer, Soporific & Anodyne
1 ice axe (in case you’re in an aeroplane and it crashes in the Himalaya and you need to give Old Abominable “the chop”)
1 teddy bear (so others will leave you well alone)
1 pith helmet with chin strap
1 Spotted Rex Rabbit named Spottsy, leashed (they have great sniffers and know how to find all sorts of vegetables)
1 aid & assistance horn (to signal for aid and assistance)
20 digestive biscuits, semi-stale
1 pair cleats or crampons for ascending stony, icy bits
1 bicycle with basket (for the rabbit) and horn
1 mesh bag (for a toad)
5 radio tracking collars and signal receiver, bunnypillar adjustable
3 Swiss cheese slices (for a mouse)
1 square box, holey (for a turtle)
1 mason jar (for a who’s-it?)
1 wind-up pocket watch and calendar because you often lose track of day, date and time when on a ramble
1 empty biscuit tin (for a what’s-at?)
1 pair of your Mother’s salad tongs (for handling interesting dead stuff)
1 bundle wild lettuce (in case the rabbit gets too excited)
3 finger bandages (for accidents and incidents)
1 torch with spare batteries (in case of caves and all that)
1 vial of rabies serum with injection syrette (in case of mouth foamy squirrels or bat attacks)
2 acquaintances (not friends, in case they act stupid and need to be ditched)
